


horribly horribly (right eventually)

by universesalternating



Category: Game of Thrones (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Gender Changes, Dreams and Nightmares, Genderqueer Character, Reincarnation, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-19
Updated: 2015-08-19
Packaged: 2018-04-15 13:47:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,507
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4609032
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/universesalternating/pseuds/universesalternating
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Something went horribly horribly wrong, but Bri and Thea cling to each other because even if they’ve lost everyone else, at least they have each other.</p>
            </blockquote>





	horribly horribly (right eventually)

0.

Their births happen different than they have before, and it convinces their mothers to do something they hadn’t before either. 

Bri’s mother survives her birth. All this new time she forgets ever having before is enough for her to realize she wants to do something else with her life. Galladon is nearly in his teens and he decides he’d prefer to stay with his father. Gwen doesn’t fight her son. Selwyn doesn’t fight her either. He lets her go and take Bri with her. 

Thea’s mother sees her beautiful little daughter and vows to protect her better than she did the son she sees in her dreams. Alannys Harlaw’s husband is going to prison anyway, so she decides to leave Pyke. Her two older sons and her eldest daughter don’t want to leave. Instead, she leaves them with their uncles. She lets them know that they will always have a place in her home, lets them know that she loves them, and then leaves quietly, with little Thea sleeping soundly in her arms. 

Neither mothers consider what moving away might do to their daughters. 

1.

Gwen and Alannys meet at Mommy and Me and start making their daughters play together. At one years old, playing is just being in the same room with each other. 

2.

At two years old, playing is usually just making loud noises and stealing each others toys. 

3.

Thea asks what her father was like. “When the waves crash on the beach and wash away anything that they can reach, that was your father.”

4.

Bri asks her mother why she loves her. “Because you are my sunshine.”

5.

School starts and the games Thea and Bri play together are a bit more complicated. Neither girl likes wearing the princess dresses, but they do like playing pretend. 

Bri takes any stick she can find and pretends its a sword. She’s quite the sword fighter. Her favorite Disney princess is Mulan, but mostly cause she gets to fight. 

Thea gets a Nerf bow and arrow, and she becomes a pro. Her favorite Disney princess is Merida, and her favorite Avenger is Hawkeye. If a character uses a bow, she’s quick to love them. 

Their mothers try to dress them as Cinderella and Snow White for Halloween, but the girls fight tooth and nail to get to add a sword and a bow to their costumes. 

6.

Thea asks what her siblings were like. “Rodrik reminds me of the sand. When you dig into it and you can feel the coolness, but also the burn from the sand on a sunny day. Maron is like coral, strong and gorgeous, and nothing, not even the strongest waves can destroy it. Asha is just like the feeling when you are out in the water. The waves are not big enough to knock you down, and you can drift there peacefully. You can feel it later when you lay in bed, and you never forget it.”

7.

Playing at seven is sometimes going to the park. Bri and Thea find a dirty dog and decide to try to clean it by a water fountain. A dumb little boy comes up and teases the two. “You should get rid of that dumb dog! It reeks!”

Thea freezes. Then tears start to stream down her cheeks. Bri demands the boy go away, wrapping her arms around Thea. The little boy runs off, not wanting to get in trouble. She pets Thea’s hair until the smaller girl stops crying. Then Thea starts to tell her about her nightmares. 

Bri starts to cry too, and the little girls end up sitting down next to the fountain, crying and talking abut all the terrible dreams that they don’t understand. At the end, they agree to not hide their dreams from each other, but to not tell anyone else. 

The dog ends up having an owner who comes and thanks the girls for finding the dog. They tell their mothers that they’re crying because they wanted to keep the dog. It’s the first of many lies that they tell their mothers. 

8.

Bri asks her mother why she left her father. “He was the sun.” 

9.

Bri’s first kiss (and last until much much later) is with Bryen, a boy three years older than her. He curls one of her pigtails around his finger, leans in and presses his lips against hers. Bri is so surprised, she doesn’t move. It turns out that he’s kissing her because he’s moving. She doesn’t see him again. 

10.

Thea’s first kiss is with Jeyne, the prettiest girl in her class. Jeyne got there late in the school year and she was leaving right after it ended. Something in Thea’s heart made her love the girl. She didn’t know how to express this deep love for her, so a kiss seemed like the best idea. Jeyne didn’t like the kiss, which made Thea feel a lot more relieved that she was leaving. 

11.

Thea asks what her mother thinks she’s like. “A rainbow.” Thea frowns and complains and asks if this is because she kissed Jeyne. Alannys laughs before explaining. “A very specific rainbow. It’s a sunny day at the beach, but it starts to rain. The big droplets bounce off the seawater, but it stops quickly. The sun keeps shinning, and out over the ocean, you can see the most beautiful rainbow.” She ruffles Thea’s hair. “That’s you.”

12.

Bri asks her mother what the difference between the sun and sunshine. “One was so bright that it burnt everything. The other fills me with warmth and brightens my days.”

13.

Every year there are two plays, one before the Winter Break and one before the summer. In eighth grade, Bri and Thea get the leads. 

Bri gets the lead in the Winter play. Maiden and the Monster is the play. Bri is cast as the Maiden, because nearly everyone agrees that she’s the prettiest girl there. She tries to feel honored by that, but she doesn’t. She knows she got the part because she’s a talented actress, not because of her looks. In the story, the Maiden agrees to be imprisoned with a monster of a man to protect her father from captivity. The Monster and the Maiden fall in love, and when they kiss, the Monster turns human again. Bri ends up having dreams about fighting some sort of monster, and someone more beautiful than any maiden saving her. Something about everyone starting to call her Bri the Beauty irks her too, but she can’t exactly figure out why. 

Thea gets the lead in the Summer play. The Little Kraken is the play chosen. Thea is cast as Yara, the titular character. It’s just a fairytale, but for some reason, Thea feels like everything about it is wrong. In the story, Yara falls in love with a wolf boy who lives on land. She trades her tentacles for the chance to be with him. The wolf boy falls in love with someone else. When Yara tries to get her tentacles back, the sea burns her. Tara ends up falling in love with another creature that had been forbidden from the sea. It all seems wrong. Thea has dreams about a wolf boy who marries someone else, and of a horrible monster that steals parts of Thea, but the events happen a lot differently. She still does amazing in the play, after all, liars are some of the best actors. 

They decide against doing the plays in high school. Something about them makes them feel strange. 

14.

Thea and Bri are the prettiest girls in the high school, and gross boys waste no time telling them that. It makes Bri wish she was taller, and it makes Thea start to hate herself. 

Thea decides to tell her mother that sometimes it feels like she’s missing something between her legs. Alannys tells her all about how people can identify. Thea decides she never wants to get the surgery, partially because it seems far too expensive, but more so because something about doctors have always made her uncomfortable. Instead Alannys buys her a binder and a packer. Alannys and Bri starts using different pronouns for Thea, and while the boys still harass Thea a lot, it’s easier to handle now that Thea knows that they can be whatever they choose.

Bri teaches herself how to walk in heels. Then she teaches herself to fight in heels. The height gives her more confidence, but knowing that she could beat anyone who tried to hurt her does even more. 

Something went horribly horribly wrong, but Bri and Thea cling to each other because even if they’ve lost everyone else, at least they have each other. 

15.

Having each other proves to not be enough. 

Thea wakes from a nightmare one night and it feels like their pinky is rotten. They go to the kitchen, find a sharp pair of clippers, and chop their pinky right off. Alannys finds them the next morning, curled up at the bottom of their bed. Alannys rushes them to the hospital and they’re put in the psych ward. 

Bri’s nightmares drag her in too, since she doesn’t have Thea to talk to. Only 8 days after Thea cut her pinky off, Gwen finds Bri digging a razor into the soft flesh of her left cheek. She joins Thea in the psych ward. Both are released on the same day. 

They tell their mothers about the nightmares and soon they have a new nighttime ritual. They talk to each other on Skype, then both swallow pills and sleep soundly. 

16.

Everything changes.

Bri’s parents fall back in love. They move. 

Thea’s father is released from prison. They move. 

Bri and Thea thank every god they can think of over the fact that they end up living in the same neighborhood. 

17.

Other people have nightmares just like them. They meet people from their dreams. 

Bri had spent her whole life worried that no one would know who she was if she’s wasn’t tall and strong, but Cat remembers her, as do the Tyrell siblings and Renly. 

Thea had worried that if the Starks did remember, they would hate Thea. Instead, it was new friends, who treated Thea with a kindness they didn’t think they deserved. 

Thea and Bri still take their sleeping pills, because dreamless sleep is glorious, but they feel less crazy. 

18.

Bri and Thea don’t have nightmares anymore, but some things things still get to them. 

Bri can’t stare at Galladon for too long without starting to tear up. It feels like staring at the sun and a ghost at the same time. Bri punches Ronnet and Hyle when they try to ask her out. She refuses to date anyone, even though she knows this time around they might actually want her. She’s protective of the Starks. Sansa and Arya hate it. Then Bri decides to teach them how to protect themselves and they love her. She doesn’t fall in love with Renly, but at the same time she loves him, his boyfriend, and his boyfriend’s sister. Her heart aches for something golden like the sun, but she chooses to not remember what that something is.

Thea has a bigger family in this new place. Balon loves Thea, he says it often. He means it too and that means a lot to Thea. But Thea can remember a father who didn’t love their child. Thea fears they will disappoint their father and the fear strikes so deep sometimes, they run to their mother’s arms and Alannys pets their hair until they feel better. Rodrik and Maron are nothing like what Thea’s dreams made them think they would be. Rodrik owns a seafood restaurant. Maron is a kindergarten teacher. Much like Balon, both love Thea, but Thea’s dreams still haunt them. Asha and Thea connect as soon as she comes to visit. The two are inseparable. Asha remembers her dreams so clearly, and Thea assumes that is why Asha is so over protective of Thea. Thea doesn’t mind. They prefer this Asha to the distant one from their dreams. Asha and Thea share a bed frequently, and Asha wraps around them like a kraken, spooning Thea and petting their hair, assuring them that nothing will ever hurt them. Thea is still scared of a shadowy man with pale eyes and a cruel smile, but Asha helps them forget.

Bri and Thea are happy that there are new people in their life for them to love. But they are even happier that they still have each other. 

19.

Eventually, they meet the men of their dreams. 

Thea meets Ramsay Bolton and before they can throw up, he’s on his knees begging for forgiveness. Thea is so scared that they’re shaking, and before they know what to say, Bri is beating the crap out of Ramsay. The group of dogs that Ramsay has with him bark and growl and make a fuss, but Bri looks too wild to try to go after. (Later, over coffee, Ramsay will tell Thea about his rescue dogs. Even later, Thea will realize that Ramsay Bolton is not Ramsay the Bastard. He’ll help Thea realize that they are not Theon. Later, Ramsay will cry as he kisses the scar where Thea’s pinky used to be. Even later, he’ll cry as he kisses Thea’s belly. Ramsay cries the hardest though when he sees Thea holding their beautiful baby boy, Theon Bolton. But now…) Ramsay has a broken nose and tears in his eyes before someone pulls Bri off of him. 

Bri meets Jaime when he pulls her off of Ramsay and tries to arrest her. She’s handcuffed and sitting in the back of his cruiser as Ramsay explains that he doesn’t plan to press charges. When Jaime takes the cuffs off of her and she glares up at him, he stares into her eyes for a very long time before he finally starts laughing. “Who would think you’d be the one in handcuffs this time, eh wench?” He says before chuckling again. (It takes Jaime 6 months to convince Bri that they’re meant to be good friends and that she should stop ignoring him. It takes Bri 2 years to convince Jaime that 15 years really isn’t that big of a difference. It would’ve taken longer, but Jaime got insanely jealous when she agreed to go out with Podrick. At their wedding, Jaime thanks Podrick for the kick in the ass he needed. But the moment Jaime calls Bri and wench, it takes only a few seconds for her to decide that this cop is not worth her time.) Bri ignores him and walks away very quickly with Thea in tow. They get to Teavana, sip their tea, and pretend that their hands aren’t shaking. 

Things have changed so so much, but even as their hearts pound in their chest, both are relieved that they actually feel hopeful rather than horrified.

**Author's Note:**

> So yeah, hope you enjoyed. Definitely considering doing more in this universe including a 5+1 fic with Thramsay and maybe something about Bri and Jaime's wedding. So let me know if you're interested???


End file.
